Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
