i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize