I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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