small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
