They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Semen is not good for contacts.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
