i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
