By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
