Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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