Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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