So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
third nipple confirmed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
