he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
