My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
