ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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