But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
