i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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