i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
