Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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