The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
