just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
