So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
