so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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