After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
