I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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