forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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