Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
