Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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