Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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