Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
