dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize