New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
