the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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