I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
