her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
