well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
