just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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