I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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