it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
