Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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