am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
