Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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