yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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