why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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