just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
