Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
