Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
