my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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