Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
