I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
