I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
