If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
