Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
