ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found your dick twin last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
