why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No I am not eating basil off your cock
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
