I didn't shave. On purpose
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
