every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize