good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
