i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
