i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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