just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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