I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
