Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize