If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
how drunk are you?
Several
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
