I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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