apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
