Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
