HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
