i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
