To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
