no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
